Note: This is Part 2 of the “Healthy Desire Series”. You can read independently and/or checkout Part 1 here.
Feeling frustrated when a goal slips away is not your desired response. Instead, adopt a mindset that bolsters your chances of achieving your ambitions.
There are two mental attitudes when it comes to achieving goals. While both could lead to the same outcome, one is emotionally healthier. One path may induce frustration and discontent, while the other fosters tranquility, irrespective of whether you reach the goal.
The critical difference between these two approaches lies in recognizing and accepting what's within control and beyond it.
Don't Fight the Uncontrollable
Never strive to control aspects of your life that are out of your hands. Accept that many things are beyond your control and should not be the source of frustration or negative emotions.
For instance, it's useless to get upset over unfavorable weather conditions. Since you can't control it, it's best not to let it affect you. Focusing on it may cause you to miss out on the day's beauty and lead to unnecessary negativity. It's important to realize that the issue isn't the weather but your mindset that generates negative emotions.
This reasoning applies to goal attainment as well. Goals are composed of elements both within and outside your control. Success often hinges on a blend of luck, skills (yours and others), and dedication.
To illustrate, imagine you aim to ace interviews and land your "dream job."
Luck: The Uncontrollable Variable
A significant portion of the goal you're striving for relies on sheer luck. In the context of job interviews, here are a few factors entirely outside your control, where fortune may or may not favor you:
The questions posed by interviewers: Their queries may highlight your strengths or expose your weaknesses. You have no control over the subject or difficulty level.
Personal dynamics: The interviewer may like you or not.
Your behavior and performance at the exact moment of the interview: Your overall mood and ability to impress are often beyond your immediate control.
Skill: The Long-term Control
Skill often falls outside your immediate control while pursuing a goal, particularly during a brief, pivotal moments (interviews, exams, sports matches) where your abilities are tested.
Consequently, skill is within your control only in the long run. Over time, through persistent practice, you can refine your abilities. However, during the critical moment of evaluation, like luck, it's often outside your direct control.
Dedication: The One Thing You Fully Command
Your level of dedication is entirely within your control. The commitment to give 100% (relative to your abilities) during an interview while preparing for a test or working towards any goal is something you can significantly influence. Therefore, this is where your focus should lie.
Giving you all means exerting every possible effort within your capacity to achieve your goal.
If, despite giving 100%, you don't reach your goal, it doesn't signify your failure. The universe may have dealt you an unfavorable hand, indicating you may need to retry later. Still, you can derive a sense of accomplishment from your total commitment, learning valuable lessons, refining your skills, and possibly falling short due to pure chance. That's acceptable because you've maximized your influence over what's within your control.
Note: There may be instances when you choose not to give 100%. Perhaps you're strategizing or gambling on reaching the goal. That's entirely acceptable. The crucial point is to be conscious of this gamble and avoid frustration if the outcome doesn't match your expectations.
Conclusion
Achieving goals boils down to understanding the domains of luck, skill, and dedication. Luck remains unpredictable, skill can be cultivated over time, but dedication is the one aspect you entirely command. Strive to give your all if the goal is important to you.
Even if you fall short, it's not a failure. It's a manifestation of life's randomness. The satisfaction lies in maximizing what's within your control and gracefully accepting the rest.
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